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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Welcome to our collection of funny 50th birthday quotes and sayings. I've been collecting quotes since I was a teenager —I guess you could call it one of my hobbies, and some of these quotes are from my own collection. I'll continue to add to this (now online!) collection of mine, so check back every now and again.

Milestone birthdays warrant a little extra celebrating, and a 50th birthday is a biggie. Writing funny 50th birthday quotes in a friend's birthday card is an easy way to add a special touch to his or her big day. Hopefully you'll even have them chuckling about a subject they might not be so thrilled about.

I hope you find these 50th birthday sayings useful and, well, funny!


"I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you,
you should stay home and have a good cry."
Alan Bleasdale

"Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning."
Bob Hope

"I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."
Bernard Baruch

"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark Twain

"You know you're old when you've lost all your marvels."
Merry Browne

"It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth
it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot
and fall to the ground in a squash."
Emily Carr

"Aging isn't that bad if you consider the alternatives."
Maurice Chevalier

"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
Kitty O'Neill Collins

"Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places."
E. Joseph Cossman

"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere."
Billy Crystal

"The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it."
Doris Day

"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... But everything else starts to wear out,
fall out, or spread out."
Phyllis Diller

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
Vlade Divac

"There is still no cure for the common birthday."
John Glenn

"When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you are."
Cary Grant

"I'm now at the age where I've got to prove that I'm just as good as I never was."
Rex Harrison

"When I was young there was no respect for the young, and now that I am old
there is no respect for the old. I missed out coming and going."
Joseph Priestley

"You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes
if you've lived your life properly."
Ronald Reagan

"I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end,
the faster it goes."
Andy Rooney

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
Charles Schulz

"With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the
sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs."
James Thurber

"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone
rings and you hope it isn't for you."
Ogden Nash

More funny 50th birthday quotes coming soon!

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